In our position of loyalty and confidence, estate planning and probate lawyers are often asked to recommend other independent collaborative advisors – typically in the areas of financial, real estate, mortgage, and accounting. (No one has asked me for recommendations of personal trainers, coaches or chiropractors, but I would probably have a lot more to say about that – some other time).
Throwing my thoughts about our choices into the center ring of the circus . . .
First, the choice is personal. Trying to provide blanket recommendations for all prospects in every case is not possible. It is also frustrating for the person who asked, because there is no clear answer, and the answer has more to do with the questioner than it does with any objectively meaningful metric. There are “Top 10” this, and “Best of” That. The answer is deceptively simple: you have to find someone who cares about you.
If you are a fan of “everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten,” then it’s the three Bears: some advisors are too big, some are too small, some are too hard, some are too soft, some are too hot, and some are too cold; you have to find the one that’s “just right” for you. If they’re right, then you can feel it. They can feel it. Better yet, you can feel that they feel it. And then they can feel that you can feel that they can feel that you can . . . . uh, you get the idea.
About a year ago, we formed a group, the Northern California Institute, which is designed to develop the collaborative model of wealth advisory work among related colleagues in the wealth world. This was our initial effort at creating a sort of "directory" of collaborative advisors - people we worked with, people we liked, and people who we just thought were really great at what they do. But a directory only goes so far. (By the way, if you have an interest in the Institute, email me and we can talk about it).
How we answer the requesting prospect's request for a referral demonstrates the care we have for the client's needs. And you don't want to bring someone in the team who is not reflective of the values of your own firm.
I want to share a recent experience where I had occasion to choose an advisor for an important but modest project that knocked on our door last month.
Background
Oakland is chalk-full of unlikely families. A wonderful older ‘family friend’ of mine, a woman who grew up in New Orleans and is dealing with her mother’s newfound acquaintance (in the extra bedroom) came by. Goldilocks (not her name), 60, had planned on using her soon-to-be-received civil settlement as a down payment on her dream home in Vegas. The rest would just fall into place, right? Only trouble was there were a few complications, like credit scores, near-term closing dates, and income verification and a whole bunch of other stuff.
We all make messes. Goldilocks is especially good at it because everyone else assumes she has her act together. Not this time. The loan papers had provisions exonerating the lender for breaking her thumbs (OK, so I’m exaggerating), but I barely got past the Truth-in-Lending disclosure before being overcome by fumes. This was a really smelly loan. It was 7.5% adjustable, with points, fees, and all that jazz ratcheting up her APR to north of 9% or 10%. You could be a dumb-minded estate-planning lawyer and see this was a bad loan.
In a moment of clarity, Goldilocks decided she could call on us. Goldi goes back to my years at 260 Cal., heck maybe even 100 Pine, where she worked with us through the tragedy of her friend’s husband’s sudden death while driving on the levees of the Delta. That’s a whole other story. In any event, this time it was her financial hide on the skewer. She knew we wouldn’t abandon her in her time of, well, her “What Was I Thinking?” moment. She didn’t have a lawyer on her civil settlement case, had no relationship with her loan broker and was two weeks from close on a half million-dollar property in another State. One extension had already been granted.
I learned about the problem when she asked a probing question. “Do you have eighty thousand dollars I could borrow?” she said with a completely straight face.
Hmm. I guess we’re more intimate than I thought. “Uh, no. Uh, I mean, you know, not just lying around with nothing to do and nowhere to go.” (How else do you answer a question like this from a friend?) Yargh. “Maybe if the dollars I have just magically started having itty bitty baby dollars, we could get there. Like in 180 years or something.” I knew this from all of my smart seminars with financial advisors trying to woo my business. (Like all these clients who need to borrow eighty thousand dollars to buy a home in another State).
Every now and then we actually hire on of our friends with the thought that maybe they actually know what they’re doing. And you have a situation like this, it is easy to say, “well, I don’t have eighty thousand dollars, goodbye.” But Goldilocks was ONE OF US, you know. Someone who got it in the core of their being – what it was all about. The relationships, the connections -- business, baby, business. This is a situation that called for an analysis of The Three Bears.
So cutting to the chase – I brought Diane onto the team. Diane (which IS her real name) is a mortgage loan broker and family friend, kids in school together, close to my wife, stunningly endowed with common sense and moxy. However, she was previously untested in my business circle, and so it was time to take a risk.
I referred Goldilocks [not her real name, again] to the bear that was probably just right -- Diane Crosby [which, again, actually is her real name].
As best as I can tell, this is what happened, at least metaphorically: Diane slipped into a telephone booth and put on a cape. She came out and flew my clients through all sorts of insurmountable credit ‘situations’ (euphemics is my new science) and qualifying hoops and got them a better loan for 100% of the value of the property than the prior loan broker got for his 80% LTV, ten-jillion-point debacle. I got emails every few hours informing me of the status of the project, any additional documentation required, and the crucial items on the critical path that needed to be accomplished to achieve the result. It was all business. She leapt several title companies, out-powered a greedy appraiser, and traveled faster than a wire transfer. (Its easy writing working that Superhero metaphor).
The loan is funded with a no-point nice-rate loan, Goldilocks is flying back and forth to her new home in Vegas, and I am still scooping my jaw off the table. Wow.
It took me a long time, perhaps, but I was pressed into finding, at the very last minute, someone to get one of my key colleagues out of a major jam. I know our friends are sometimes the last on that list, for various legitimate reasons (it’s a scary thing to change the nature of any relationship), but Diane really came through. Big time.
Counselors, its not easy to find people who are committed to what they do as you are committed to what you do. Sometimes you need look no further than the people eating the porridge right next to you.
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